look the ideal future is me having a strong girlfriend/wife who can effortlessly swing a sword but i know that future means me staring at her anxiously as she does sick sword stuff and going “babe, is that safe? babe are you sure you should do that? babe please be careful. babe. babe maybe we can just stare admiringly at that sword instead”
future wife: hey look at me throw this axe with devastating accuracy
me, with my heart rate skyrocketing: that’s so hot, honey, but is that, like, really sharp?
Why did nobody in Fullmetal Alchemist carry around some fucking backup transmutation circles. Like Riza is there with a box full of fresh gloves for Roy when he gets soaked but you’d think after the first time he got rendered useless in a fight by some dude with a water bottle he’d start carrying around a spare set in a waxed bag or something but NOOOOO. And Ed’s even fucking worse like his arm gets destroyed how many times???? AND HE ACTS SURPRISED EVERY TIME. OH NO MY ARM. NOW I CAN’T ALCHEMY. Shit, boy, draw some transmutation circles ahead of time and keep em in your coat, this isn’t hard. “Oh no, you’ve destroyed my arm again, whatever shall I SIKE” Ed says, before throwing a rock with ‘explode’ written on it at his attacker and making good his escape. Everyone’s always carving shit into their skin or drawing it in their own blood, HOW BOUT INSTEAD YOU CARRY A PIECE OF FUCKING CHALK. Alchemists are useless
I actually love the ungrateful millennial trope, because I went to the V&A today and took a lot of photos of statues’ butts, and it tired me out, so I went to the café and had a cup of tea. In the V&A café, there’s a piano that customers can just use without asking, and a man sat down at it and started to play. I know nothing about music, but it sounded great to me.
At the table next to me was an old couple, probably in their late 60s, and the man kept tutting and sighing as the chap played, and I heard him mutter to his wife, “this is a [insert musty dead white composer here], there should be more MELODY,” and he just kept griping.
Now, to me, an ignorant and uncultured millennial, it just seemed super cool that we were essentially getting a free piano accompaniment to our Earl Grey, and so I stayed a while to listen, because this guy had some balls getting up there to play in front of us all, and I wanted him to feel appreciated. I also live tweeted it, and the old man kept glaring at me for being on the phone. I kid you not.
When he was done, we all (including the grumpy old man) applauded for him, and he looked really surprised. I thought I’d let him know how much I loved it, because I have terrible social anxiety and am trying to get out of my shell a bit, so I approached him and said “I know nothing about music, but I really enjoyed hearing you play,” and he BEAMED.
Turns out that he’s a concert pianist over from Toronto and we essentially got treated to a free preview of his concert tomorrow night. We chatted for a bit and then I left, and the old couple still looked really grouchy.
But hey. Ungrateful millennials!!
Trust me. Millennials have been so deprived, you can give them a free napkin and they will cry. Old people have been so spoiled that you can literally give them a free symphony and they will bitch about it. Nothing satisfies old people.
my heart rly actually melts whenever grls do that thing where they fix ur necklace when its backwards or tuck a piece of hair behind ur ear for u like……………….. wow thats all goodnight girls are literally all Gifts and should be treated with loyalty, respect, gentleness, and One Million Kisses im so in lov w girls, conceptually and literally. A+ job @ god
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