me cooking for other people: this needs to be absolutely PERFECT, i’m talking MICHELIN STAR standard here people, if gordon ramsey himself wouldn’t burst into actual tears at the first bite i have failed not only as a chef but as a human being,
me cooking for myself: a little food poisoning never hurt nobody
why do people always ask me about sexual fantasies but never about my other fantasies? i don’t think about dick, jonathan. i think about wearing a haute couture dress and a princess tiara and running around a stone palace with sunlight and enough mirrors around to bask in my aesthetic glory.