The myth that gays and lesbians don’t get along is one perpetrated by straight people who know that if we ever bothered to unite our L G B and T infinity stones they’d fucking perish on sight like Lot’s wife into a pillar of salt
I fucking hate you…. I haven’t seen the god damn fucking movie…. Fuck all of you
Bones is a man of the deep south. I grew up in Arkansas. I can say it. People with southern accents arelazy speakers.
Put down the pitchforks, and hear me out.
We don’t like to enunciate. We don’t like syllables.
I’ll give you an example.
“Y’all’d’ve”
Ladies and gentlemen, when I was first exposed to the term, “y’all’d’ve,” I did not understand.
In fact, I’m not ashamed. I had to google it.
I immediately laughed so hard.
Because where I’m from, we don’t say, “Y’all’d’ve.”
It’s, “Y’all’da.”
As in, “Y’all woulda.”
There’s no V sound.
In fact, the idea of a V sound at the end of “you all would have” was so foreign to me that I did not even recognize it was a thing.
Which brings me back to “Len.”
Ask anybody south of the Mason Dixon to say, “Leonard.”
I’d bet good money that, phonetically, what comes out is “Len-ard.”
Len.
Leonard is two syllables (as I pronounce it - I’m sure some will disagree). Leo is two syllables. Len is the phonetic diminutive of Leonard (as the McCoy family likely pronounces it). Len is only one syllable.
Lazy speakers, remember?
In other words, what’s the point of a nickname that’s not any easier to spit out?
For the record, I absolutely love the name Leo. I think it’s adorable. It’s quirky and masculine. It’s a great name, and a great nickname. It’s just not Leonard McCoy’s.
I’ll admit, I have a little bit (little bit) easier time imagining Leo as a nickname for AOS Bones. That’s probably because I find it impossible to divorce De from the image of the quintessential “southern boy.” Not sure if it’s the cadence of his speech, or the way he says nuclear as “nucular,” or if it’s just because he’s the original, but De is Bones, Bones is Len.
Like I said, it’s the tiniest of nitpicks. I love a Leo fic as much as I love a Len fic.
the signs as lines from john mulaney’s kid gorgeous
Aries: “I would never say that, not even as a joke, that my wife is a bitch and I don’t like her. That is not true. My wife is a bitch and I like her so much.”
Taurus: “College was like a four-year game show called Do My Friends Hate Me or Do I Just Need to Go to Sleep? But instead of winning money, you lose $120,000.”
Gemini: “I want to write songs for people in their 30s called ‘Tonight’s No Good, How About Wednesday? Oh, You’re In Dallas On Wednesday? Okay. Well, Then Let’s Just Not See Each Other For 8 Months And It Doesn’t Matter At All.’”
Cancer: “I was in Connecticut recently, doing white people stuff.”
Leo: “You spend most of your day telling a robot that you’re not a robot. Think about that for two minutes and tell me that you don’t want to walk into the ocean.”
Virgo: “I don’t know what my body is for, other than just taking my head from room to room.”
Libra: “In high school, people were like, “What are your top 3 colleges?” I was like, top 3 colleges? I thought I would be dead in a trunk with my hand hanging out of the taillight by now.”
Scorpio: “Fourteen years ago, I smoked cocaine the night before my college graduation. Now I’m afraid to get a flu shot. People change.”
Sagittarius: “Like years later, I’d be going down on some rocking twink in college and I’d be like, ‘Wait a second… What would Leonard Bernstein do?’”
Capricorn: “I don’t care for these new Nazis, and you may quote me on that.”
Aquarius: “I paid $120,000 for someone to tell me to go read Jane Austen and then I didn’t.”
Pisces: “My dad once grabbed me by the shirt and lifted me up during church and said ‘God can’t hear you.’”
