Just because social media can be a really really difficult place to set boundaries, here’s a reminder: you are allowed to say or think or act on statements like: “you don’t know me well enough to ask me that” or “you don’t know me well enough to talk to me like that” or even just “it is none of your business”.

Even if it would make your life easier on that one post you made where the notes are cackling over how you’re a prime example of a Neurotypical Straight when you are in fact neither of those things. Even if it’s an ask from someone who’s been following you on social media for years (especially if you haven’t reciprocated that level of contact). Even if all your friends are happily out or comfortable discussing their medical history with the internet at large.

You are allowed to decide who is entitled to your story.

I understand the necessity for some communities to be built on the trust that comes from every member baring their soul, but at the same time it is frustrating that there is often no place there for people who are closeted or questioning or just plain private: the first assumption when somebody new stumbles into a marginalized online community without disclosing their relevant romantic preferences or mental health or medical history is often (not always incorrectly!) malice. 

I wish there were an easy answer between protecting the insular communities of marginalized folks on social media and keeping them permeable enough that potentially dangerous or harmful disclosure of private information weren’t so often the cost of entry.