The Signs as The Good Place Quotes

daryshkart:

Aries: “Watch, I’ll blowtorch your face off.”

Taurus: “I’m gonna sit alone in my house watching wedding fails on YouTube, drinking margaritas through a Twizzlers straw until I pass out on top of my vibrator.”

Gemini: “I once even tried to rent socks.”

Cancer: “How can I say no? Can I say no? It doesn’t feel like I can say no.”

Leo: “I have no idea what’s going on but everyone is talking and I should too.”

Virgo: “I mock others to distract myself from the emptiness inside of me.”

Libra: “The only reason we’ve come this far is because we’ve helped each other. And I don’t think anything’s gonna feel like the Good Place if we’re not together.”

Scorpio: “People = Good, People = Good… Why is that so hard to remember?”

Sagittarius: “I’m telling you, Molotov cocktails work. Any time I had a problem, and I threw a Molotov cocktail, boom! Right away, I had a different problem.”

Capricorn: “Go ahead and cry all you want. But you’re going to have to pay for that toilet plunger.”

Aquarius: “Will you be okay after I leave?”

“Yes. This will not affect me in any way.”

Pisces: “Okay, but what do we do, panic, freak? I usually panic, but I am happy to freak.”