relatable vampires
human: why don’t you just come in? oh, right, you’re a vampire, you have to be invited. sorry, i forgot.
vampire: that’s actually just a myth. i don’t need an invitation to enter your home, but i have anxiety, so i always feel like i should wait for your permission.
human: so, you sleep in all day because you’re nocturnal, right?
vampire: i can go out whenever i like. i just don’t want to get up.
human: begone, foul fiend! this church is consecrated ground, you cannot enter here!
vampire: i’m afraid that’s not really true. i’m just not very fond of catholics.