Jonny Sims magnusarchives, who gives his main cast MAYBE one vague adjective of appearance description if you’re LUCKY, decided to deliver unto his (goth, extra) fans an incredibly detailed description of this (goth, extra) tall man in a trench coat with long hair, a bad black dye job, and eye tattoos on every single one of his joints. on top of that he also plays dnd, is good at arson, and tries to shoot his shot with the protagonist even after he’s dead. Im just supposed to deal with this like a normal person I guess

dicaeopolis:

other epic gerry moments

• decided to go on vacation from eldritch shit for once, went to Italy, bought a Hawaiian shirt specifically to indicate to himself that he was on vacation. this is played so straight that it took me weeks to realize how funny it is
• successfully found the shitty old man who’d been collecting all these cursed life-ruining books and curbstomped him in the Eldritch Shit Institute parking lot when he was leaving his Vents Hideout for the first time in a decade
• proceeded to decide that the shitty old man was too pathetic to be the right one and wandered off
• quote: “I’m not in the business of helping strays” [spends every scrap second he has doing exactly that]
• ditched his shitty murderer old lady mother and spent most of the rest of his life hanging out with another shitty murderer old lady