a-zzurra:

infinity war headcanons

individually they’re a mess but together they’re like, really bad

• t’challa: ‘what is this’ peter parker: ‘oh that’s my school project it’s toilet paper rolls superglued together’ t’challa under his breath: ‘you are so poor’
• shuri jamming her finger in the door: ‘ah crap’ steve flexing so his shirt shreds: ‘please don’t fucking swear’
• thor opens the fridge door to climb inside but starlord is already in there eating twinkies
• starlord, mouth full: ‘find your own fridge you chiselled muscular 6 foot golden haired really handsome bitch’
• rocket: ‘what’s this’ bucky: ‘my eyeliner’ rocket: ‘wrong. it’s my eyeliner now’
• rocket: ‘say it. say it’s my eyeliner’ bucky, tears pooling in his eyes, voice choked up:
• wanda, natasha and okoye have girls’ nights where they paint each others’ nails and talk about their body counts
• bruce: ‘oh man….what a week huh’ steve: ‘bruce it’s tuesday’
• tony opening the door and peter parker quickly shoving something under the covers:
• tony: ‘what the fuck was that? are those dirty magazines? are you hiding dirty magazines???’ peter, thinking about the ouran high school host club manga under his blanket:
• peter, sweating: ‘aha yeah sorry dad’
• thor: ‘i love earth culture i love your entertainment’ maury on the tv: ‘you are not the father!’ thor throwing a table through a window: ‘HE IS NOT THE FATHER!!’
• groot: ‘i am groot’ rocket: ‘he says knock knock’ shuri: ‘who’s there’
• groot: ‘i am groot’ rocket: ‘he doesn’t know he doesn’t do jokes’
• doctor strange: ‘so you guys have psychic powers too?’ wanda: ‘yes’ vision: ‘i just read your mind’ doctor strange: ‘what does it say’ vision: ‘it says you’re a little bitch’
• gamora opening the pantry cupboard: ‘peter get out’ starlord: ‘ummmm i have a professional diagnosis? my doctor says i have to do this’
• gamora: ‘your doctor says you have to eat 6 twinkies at once?’ starlord: ‘….7’
• nebula: ‘i’m a highly trained expertly honed warrior. i know 367 different ways to kill a man and that’s just with a spool of thread. i’ve been to hundreds of planets and bested thousands of elite warriors-‘
• loki: ‘um could a highly trained warrior do this?’ nebula: ‘what are you doing’ loki: ‘cartwheels’
• loki: ‘am i not doing them’
• t’challa: ‘you are a very advanced group. i am glad wakanda opened its borders’ sam: ‘we all try our best your majesty. not to brag but we kinda are the experts’
• sam opening a door to see starlord, shirt off, crying, eating twinkies off his bare chest:
• t’challa: ‘…..my mama said i have to come home right now immediately’