vivid-ellipses:

fadingsuggestion:

Fuck anyone who says I have to forgive everyone, “for my sake.” I worked hard for this anger. I worked hard to love myself enough to hate them.

Shit, yeah, this is a thing that is hard to articulate. Some people don’t feel healed by forgiving the people who hurt them, because that’s what they kept doing over and over and it only led to getting more hurt. Sometimes you feel healed when you’re finally brave enough to say “This person was horrible to me, and I did not deserve that treatment, and I don’t have to be okay with it.”

softheartedsuggestion:

what another person did to you wasn’t your fault

untilstarsfall:

khaleesioftheharleys:

untilstarsfall:

I’m really tired of revenge stories in which the hero realizes that revenge is “wrong” or won’t bring closure or satisfaction because that’s not always true. Sometimes revenge is exactly what the person needs to move on. Especially if they’re getting revenge for a loved one’s wrongful death or something.

I just want stories where the heroes lose their shit and get revenge and are fucking satisfied with it.

Time to do some writing, I guess.

What’s annoying is the way these narratives often conflate revenge with any kind of justice. Not forgiving the person who slaughtered your family isn’t “living with hatred in your heart” for fucks sake, not wanting the person who killed thousands of people to just get away with it and carry on life like nothing happened doesn’t “make you just as bad as them”.

Exactly like catharsis is a beast with many faces and sometimes those faces are ugly and it’s jaws are bloody. It also plays into the ‘perfect victim’ narrative where the hero is expected to recover from a traumatic experience a certain way. If they aren’t forgiving and at peace then somehow they’re ‘flawed and wrong’ for it.

This is one of the reasons I love Jemisin’s Broken Earth trilogy because she explores the theme of vengeance and forgiveness in its many forms throughout the story.

incendavery:

terrible

angelwithissues:

anyone else feel like their trauma isn’t bad enough n they’re probably just overreacting to normal childhood experiences? same

chessys:

what hasnt killed me has just made me overly sensitive and defensive

furiousgoldfish:

Having abusive parents means having the foundations of your life built on lies, and particularly on lies about yourself. it’s not knowing who you are, and at the same time knowing that you’re the most horrible, most undeserving and worthless person in existence. It’s gratitude for basic human decency because you don’t believe you even deserve that much. It’s not being able to express anything because your brain tells you everyone will hate you for it, will be burdened by you existing and having feelings. Growing out of it means fighting every single thing you know about the world and about yourself, it means restructuring and rebuilding reality, throwing away everything you knew and struggling to grasp the pieces of truth and piece them together and always fighting so hard against the lies written inside of your very core, lies that grew so big and strong and terrifying you built your life around avoiding them, lies that make you feel like you’d rather not be living than having it be true. 

persephonetic:

bint-nuh:

You know what strength is?
Forgiving a person who wasn’t even sorry.

not to be dramatic but i would literally rather die

indigopebbles:

pervocracy:

Parents: This can’t be true about you, you didn’t show any signs when you were younger!

Also parents: *would have destroyed your life if you’d shown any signs when you were younger*

Also parents: *aggressively ignored all signs you’ve ever shown*

smallfragment:

telling your kids that they can only ever trust family or that family is all they’ve got is the most toxic fucked up twisted manipulative shit and i would rather die than let myself believe that