anachronic-cobra:

Imagine: Humans accidentally insulting aliens using common idioms that don’t make sense when you don’t know they’re figures of speech

—

Human: Penny for your thoughts?

Alien: You taught me about currency, have I forgotten the value of “penny”? Do you really think my thougts are worth so little? I thought you liked conversing with me!

Human: Wait, hold on

—

Human: We can kill two birds with one stone if we-

Alien: I’ve told you time and again my people are primarily pacifists, and herbivorous regardless. Why would you suggest such an activity?

Human: No, wait, it was just a-

Alien: I will have no part of it, and this nonsequitor is irrelevant to our conversation. Please strike birds on your own time.

—

Human: So is there a method to your madness here?

Alien: *offended* Are you questioning my sanity?

Human: I was just-

Alien: Because that’s difficult to take from a being with the IQ of a gleesnork.

Human: I don’t know what that is but fuck you too

—

Human 1: *talking to someone about alien, sees alien approaching* Ah, speak of the devil and he shall appear!

Alien: *hurt* I thought… you liked my company?

Human 2: …what?

Human 1: *realizing* OH WAIT NO I’M SORRY

—

Human: See you later, alligator!

Reptilian alien: How fucking dare you

aximili-esgarrouth-isthil:

political discourse is OUT fictional alien biology discourse is IN

randomslasher:

queerical:

teaboot:

demimonde-quasigoddess:

Yet another installment in humans being fuckin weird compared to aliens: humans give blood, organs, and tissue to each other, because our race is built around being able to function under as much stress as possible.

So of course, what do we do when another human will die without something we could live without?
We go to our local hospital and undergo trauma to provide them with it, for no compensation.

Sure you might need to eat and drink more, take antibiotics or anti rejection drugs, but hey!

B'ril over there had to wait until HIS race figured out stem cells and lab grown organs, because ALL their organs are vital, and losing a pint of fluid flat out kills them or sends them into shock.

“You… you lost… your toxin filters?”

“Well, we’ve got a few things that do that, but yeah, like… four of them?”

“….Four?”

“Well, counting tonsils.”

“You are… How are you alive, again?”

“You make it sound so weird. I still have two kidneys- One’s synthetic, the other was donated.”

“…….donated?”

“Yeah, my girlfriend was compatible.”

“Donated.”

“….Yeah? Like, we had the same blood type and everything, and she volunteered. What, you guys don’t do that? What do you do when someone needs a liver, or something?”

“We… clone one.”

“Okay, sure, but what did you do before cloning? You didn’t just like, give someone a piece?”

“….. we died? Wait, what do you mean, ‘give someone a piece’?”

“Well, our livers can grow back. You can give someone a piece of yours, and they can grow their own. You guys don’t do that?”

“,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,………..no.”

#organ donation is almost real-life necromancy#reduce reuse recycle except with corpses (via @iron-sulfur-world)

I absolutely adore these ‘humans are the hardiest aliens’ stories. 

kirknspock:

star trek + aliens

nevver:

The truth is out there, Juan Osorno

muuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurdock:

lmao: loving my alien overlords