you keep going on about how we should “respect the troops” but your silence on the world’s lack of recognition of the foo fighters’ brave work defending us from the foo is deafening
“i’ve never even seen or heard of a foo before!” and why do you think that is?
my main goal is to disappear mysteriously after last being heard from exploring a mostly unmapped trail or cave system and be presumed dead after my body is never recovered despite extensive searching
one of those scenes in a movie where someone drops a smoke grenade and disappears while everyone is coughing and stumbling around only when the smoke clears they’re still standing there looking embarrassed and a little bit nervous
villain: oh dear, it looks like we’re experiencing a, uh, little technical difficulty, hold on, just give me a moment-
villain: *drops another grenade and when it clears they’re STILL standing there*
villain: *laughing nervously* i don’t understand, this always works in the movies-
hero: i think you’re supposed to run away and hide after you do it?
villain: oh! right, yes, that makes sense, thank you
villain: *fumbles with another grenade and almost drops it before lighting it* “so long, suckers!” *when the smoke clears this time they can still be seen running away in the distance*
everyone saying ‘heinz doofenshmirtz’ you’re the only people here i respect
