“Julian, Zimmerman is going to file a report saying that Doctor Bashir is unsuitable for computer modelling because of his suspected genetically enhanced background.
Do you know what’s going to happen when that report gets back to Starfleet Medical?”
“There’s going to be a formal investigation which will lead to my eventual dismissal from the service.”
Luke Skywalker and Julian Bashir outfits radiating the same twink energy
With absolutely no method to mount my observations and running on delirious 4am zest, I present to you all: the dumbest Star Wars / Star Trek crossover content yet.
Metallic fitted bodysuits
Absolutely the most iconic items on this list. I know it’s flowing gold lamé with a plunging neckline versus an extremely tight-fitted silver spandex bodysuit but the gay energy they exude is absolutely 100% the same.
Crisp pristine formalwear
Similar concepts with different effects, yet again. Julian’s white Starfleet dress uniform looks painfully stiff, very much in keeping with the themes of Inter Arma Enim Silent Leges, meanwhile Luke’s ceremonial jacket has a more relaxed silhouette to it, which along with the haircut is almost crossing into butch lesbian vibe territory. (I’m pretty sure all of my jackets have a similar silhouette.) Sort of similar looks for similarly ceremonial occasions, to mixed effect, but emanating simpatico twink energy nonetheless.
Low v-neck casual wear
Bless whoever designed Julian’s loungewear to consistently feature that asymmetrical neckline. (Another top shows up in Badda-bing Badda-bang.) The similarities here are, again, maybe a reach (just the silhouettes and literally nothing else), as Luke’s jacket has more of a polished, smooth, unfussy practicality to it. However, as I’ve said there’s no criteria other than “I say so,” therefore: same energy!!!
Tank tops
Consistently the trend here has been “kind of a reach, but whatever,” and this one’s no different! Luke, in keeping with the rest of his looks (err, other than the lamé) has something practical, with an earthy neutral palette, thematically aligned with his action hero designation. Julian… well, first of all, whoever designs his costumes deserves some sort of accolade for keeping them all consistently tacky, almost campy, which I am absolutely living for. The purples! The turquoise chest stripes! The tight fits! Stupid! Dramatic! Gorgeous! Totally character appropriate. Wait, where was I? Oh right. Same energy? Same energy!
First of all, the majority of Julians canonical partners are alien; the Elysian Melora Pazlan, the Bajoran Leeta, the Trill Ezri. I would like to note that we don’t know if Palis Delon is human or not. This leads me to conclude that not only is Julian drawn to aliens, he is pretty popular with them himself. Like it says on his action figure box: “as a teenager […] alien physiology fascinated him […] and he became something of an expert on xenobiology”
Second of all, this is a rundown of all the major alien species in Star Trek and why they would find Julian Subatoi Bashir, specifically, incredibly sexy.
CARDASSIANS
Obviously the first point is Garak sprinting across the replimat, practically throwing people out of the way in his haste to lay his hands on Bashir’s perfectly sloped shoulders. I will hereby quote this excellent post by tumblr user adigeon [emphasis mine]:
[…] the cardassians we see in TNG are all incredibly lean/lanky. gul “considers himself real hot shit” dukat is similarly proportioned. garak isn’t - he’s pretty solidly built for a cardassian we see onscreen
you know who else is almost upsettingly lanky? julian bashir, who is 2/3s leg. please imagine julian and garak as cardassia’s most confusing power couple. here’s this human who’s proportioned like the most perfect symbol of cardassian masculinity, married to a stout older man who is shorter than him. garak finds this hilarious. […]
I am prepared to accept this as the whole truth of Cardassian beauty standards for men (I will concede that I am biased insofar as I am convinced Garak and Bashir are particularly into each other, but the evidence doesn’t lie.)
And then, on a less physical note, Cardassians value ruthlessness and cunning. I would ask you to look at post season 3 Julian Bashir, who follows his own rigid code of morality to a degree that might almost be called foolhardy, but uses all of his not so inconsiderate skills to this end. Not to mention that he successfully harbored a pretty big secret from everyone for much of his adult life. You tell me Garak wouldn’t be all over that in a heartbeat?
