luke’s devotion to han is absolutely undoubtable and without a doubt subtly romantic. vader chose to use him as bait and torture him instead of leia, even though he knew luke and leia were close. he also had no reservations with hurting leia as he had already done it in the past. so he chose han explicitly because he knew without a shadow of a doubt that HIS pain would make luke drop everything and throw himself foolishly into a trap to protect him. luke has shown his devotion and attraction to han time and time again, from the subtle glances to his chest and lips during their first encounter, to their deleted encounter in the sand, where they both resisted to drop one another’s hand. luke has ALWAYS believed in him and ALWAYS wanted to be near to him and to see him be the best man he can be.
his adoration for han is undeniable, but let’s not act like this dedication is one sided because it’s not! han is absolutely just as devoted to, and besotted with, luke as luke is to, and with, him. many fans make the mistake of thinking that this adoration is entirely one sided, when it is, in fact, equal. in episode iv, han knew he was going to leave the rebellion to continue doing work on his own because he’s not a people person, and he doesn’t like having too many people depending on him. he treated having luke and obi wan, and later leia, on the falcon with him as a nuisance and a chore. you’d think that he’d be perfectly content to leave them all behind and continue his life, but he doesn’t. he asks luke to come with him, and only luke. he doesn’t even bother to ask anyone else because no one else matters. his offer isn’t just a proposition for spending the rest of their lives together, but it’s also a show of han’s attachment and vulnerability. han leaves everyone he loves before he can get hurt, but now he’s opening himself to the possibility of attachment, new companionship, and, yes, pain. he never shows this same vulnerability to anyone else.
luke is hurt because he believes that han is abandoning him, but he’s actually trying to do the opposite: he’s trying to bring luke closer to him and protect him and stay with him. and even though he leaves, he still comes back, for luke. nobody would expect anything to mean more to han solo than his own survival, but suddenly he’s putting his neck out for something, for someone, that means more to him than his own life. and that running into each other’s arms reunion at the end of the film?? it’s NOT between han and his eventual love interest, it’s between him and luke. one of THE biggest romantic tropes is two people running into each other’s arms, it’s right up there with kissing in the rain!
and it doesn’t stop there. han threatens to leave the rebellion AGAIN, and just like clockwork, decides to stay and risk his life because luke needs him. when luke needs him, no matter the danger, han will ALWAYS come running. his declaration, “i’ll see you in hell”, speaks to the fact that he is absolutely ready and willing to give up his own life for luke to get home safe, and if he can’t save him, he can at least be there for him so luke won’t have to die alone. he knows his chances are slim, but he doesn’t care. whenever he tries to leave, to try to free himself of this attachment and undying devotion, luke needs him, and he gets reeled back in willingly. and when he finds him, he cradles luke with the utmost care and gentleness, even as he frantically searches for his breath, and his pulse, for any sign that he’s still with him.
and then once luke is tended to health and it’s confirmed that he’s okay, han has the golden opportunity to leave the rebellion and forget about this whole mess, but he doesn’t. he stays and waits until luke is awake, and watches him floating in the bacta tank. the sight of him, all bruised and injured, is sometimes too much for han to look at, and throughout the scene he covers his mouth or paces around, thoroughly shook by the thought of him being hurt, and the thought of losing him. then, when luke awakes, han wants to make sure he’s one of the first things he sees, and sits as close to him as he can. they both look at each other with an unspoken, pure adoration that has unparalleled throughout all the romantic elements in this franchise.
even after luke vanishes, han’s devotion to him remains undying, since he’s been spending the past twenty years searching for him high and low. and when he finds the falcon, and the two kids with luke’s youthful, high strung hope, his own hope of finding luke and bringing him home again is rekindled. he says that he knew him with nothing but sadness and love in his voice and on his face. he knew luke once, but he hasn’t known him in a very long time, and he will do anything to know him again. and now he never will.
tldr; han adored luke just as much as luke loved him, and their subtle romance is actually the most tragic and iconic love story in the history of the franchise thank you for coming to my ted talk.
-You always have ideas. When you open a document, they disappear.
-You have a file full of ideas. It is lost. You open all your files and find hints of ideas mixed in between the lines. None of them connect. You follow them forever, deeper into the folders, until you can’t remember what you were looking for anymore. You end up reading fanfic until 4 AM.
-You’re not a torturer by profession. It’s merely a hobby. The sadism is a natural skill.
-Your fingers and wrists hurt from typing when you’re on a roll. You swear you’re not a masochist, but it hurts so good.
-Readers accuse you of causing them pain. You say you’re sorry, but you’re not. You comfort them while not-so-subtly digging for what caused them the most harm, eager to repeat the trick.
-Your friends enable you and laugh at your yelling. When you blame them, they claim they didn’t do anything. They never do anything. You no longer remember who started it, only that you’re halfway through the fic and still writing.
-You have a WIP. You swear you’re going to finish it next. It’s always next. There’s always another fic that has to be written first.
-Anonymous messages are sent to you, asking you not to acknowledge them publically. You know if you answer they’ll disappear from your inbox. Tumblr has eaten the Ask. Was it ever there in the first place?
-Someone comments on your fic. You have no idea who they are, but their username looks familiar. Every username looks familiar. You think you know them. They know you. It’s flattering, but you can’t shake the feeling that you should be alarmed by your poor memory.
-You reblog a writing prompt meme. It’s the same meme you reblogged yesterday. There are symbols instead of numbers, and you hope people will find them more interesting and send you more prompts this time.
-Promoting your own work is okay. You tell yourself this as you reblog yesterday’s fic post, tensely waiting for a rebuke that never comes.
-People laugh at something you wrote. You can’t figure out what. When you ask, nobody responds. They never laughed in the first place. You’re not sure you wrote anything.
-The fic is 50 hours long and 7000 words long; no one cares. A 10 minute speedwrite is reblogged into eternity.
-The kudos stack up. They are a solid block of names. You can’t read who left them. When you blink and look again, only 10 Guests have left kudos.
-Your inbox is full. There’s a comment on your fic. It has been edited 17 times. Six more emails come in as you read the initial comment. The numbers in your inbox climb and climb. You can’t find what’s been changed in the comment, but you can’t stop obsessively comparing each message.
-This comment is a book report. Glee and fear fill you in equal amounts.
-Someone apologizes for leaving a comment on an old fic. You can’t find who started the absurd rumor that authors don’t like comments on old fics. You plan their murder anyway.
-You eye your old username and associated fics. You pray that no one ever finds them. You resist the urge to tell people where to look.
-The fic is finished. You are dead. You are sick of it. You’ve never been so tired in your life. You hate the world. You force yourself to post it, absolutely exhausted, and suddenly can’t sleep for refreshing your inbox.
-The words multiply. You can’t control them. They eat your brain and come out your eyes. When people try to talk to you, you speak in snatches of character dialogue and narrate unconnected events. They keep talking to you, encouraging you to say more. The words own you now.
-No one believes you when you say the story is writing itself. You stare in despair at the screen. Why won’t anyone help you?
-You’ve misspelled ‘the.’ Autocorrect is wonderful until it’s not.
-Sleep is for the weak. You dream you’re still writing.
-The fic is 50 hours long and 7000 words long; no one cares. A 10 minute speedwrite is reblogged into eternity.
Hahaha, ah it’s funny because it’s true. *eyetic* what do you mean there’s blood coming out of my nose? No, no I’m fine, go right ahead. Reblog the scone post again, I don’t mind.
-Someone apologizes for leaving a comment on an old fic. You can’t find
who started the absurd rumor that authors don’t like comments on old
fics. You plan their murder anyway.
GODS OWN TRUTH. Who told readers that there’s a statute of limitations on commenting? Why is apologizing for commenting so common? Who has abused these readers for sincerely expressing their appreciation and affection for fanwork?
Because it sounds almost bitter and bitterness is something I was never able to associate with Spock. Sure, he can be angered and he can be pretty stubborn, but he is so gentle and bound to logic that turning bitter just doesn’t seem to be compatible with his nature.
So I was asking myself where did that come from?
Spock is really not broken up about losing T’Pring to another man. He isn’t even mad about her almost getting him killed, because he understand her reasoning. He knows that in order to marry someone she wants and keep her social status she had to divorce him according to the old traditions. So that’s definitely not it.
Could it be that only a short time before he witnessed how it would be like to get something greatly desired…
…and having to live with all the consequences?
I think “City on the Edge of Forever” is the episode Spock realizes what nature his feelings to Jim Kirk are. Maybe it was the close proximity, (I mean they always lived in each other’s pockets an the Enterprise, but here they were even closer…) or maybe it was the fact that Jim let himself fall in love with Edith Keeler. Because it’s when we see something we can not have that we realize how much we want it, isn’t it?
I never understood Jim falling for Edith, not because I don’t like the woman, far be it! She is amazing, a bright and gentle spirit far ahead of her time, although a bit naive… But for Jim to fall in love on a mission, while being trapped in the past and thus coming very near to breaking the Prime Directive on a massive scale is just plain unprofessional.
(Shout-out to plaidshirtjimkirk at this point for writing a beautiful piece of work that got this to MAKE SENSE! The thought of Jim Kirk who, away from his ship and command, would let himself fall for someone who couldn’t exploit him or would want him for prestige and influence is by far the best explanation I read for his behavior here. Because he had nothing and Edith still wanted him.)
Furthermore, Spock’s demeanor throughout the episode is worth noting. I mean what were Nimoy’s instructions for this scene? Did Joseph Pevney go ahead and say: “Hey you know what? Just look as heartbroken as you possibly can, that’ll work!”
Because he does.
Spock is so resigned, almost sad for most of the episode. Just imagine: he had to watch his best friend fall in love knowing how it would end, knowing that although Edith loved Jim back, she would still break his heart. Jim is the one person Spock trusts and he can do absolutely nothing for him. He can’t save him the heartbreak. (An interesting observation here is that later, muuuuch later, into the 5-year-mission when Jim mourns Reyna’s death, Spock DOES intervene. But by that time they have already established a mental rapport so Spock is not afraid of disregarding Jim’s privacy to help him.)
I think after this mission Spock had to acknowledge that Jim Kirk was far more important to him than he previously thought. But he also saw what really letting himself fall for someone did to Jim. Considering all the pain Spock witnessed maybe “After a time, you may find that having is not so pleasing a thing after all as wanting.”, is the lesson he learned from watching what love could do to someone.
It could be the reason he never acted on any eventual feelings. Why possibly ruin a sufficient working relationship and a dearly cherished friendship for a “What if”? Longing for something from afar is a lot safer than actually risking something in order to get it.
After all, where is the logic in heartbreak?
Spock’s belief at this point in time that wanting love, pining for someone from afar is a more desirable state than actually having that love certainly shows why he hadn’t acted on his feelings at this point. It is one of those strange lines that until you think about it through the lens of spirk makes little sense. I mean he even says ‘it is not logical’. When Spock says something isn’t logical but it is true it has to be something of great psychological meaning to him.
