i honestly have to wonder what cishet nerd guys who play DnD just to roleplay killing things and think that having women or gay people in a fantasy story is “historically inaccurate” get out of watching the lord of the rings because it’s literally a bunch of of guys hugging each other and talking about their feelings for 9 hours

funnytwittertweets:

manywinged:

smoking that wizard shit that let the hobbits talk to trees and walk 900 miles barefoot to throw that giant eye freak’s cock ring into a burning volcano

i might have smoked a bit too much actually

eldamaranquendi:

Lotr characters by https://guilhermefranco.com.br

kelssiel:

pmmeyourrenamon:

elidyce:

animanightmate:

uberguber89:

kaispeakshermind:

markwateneymemorialcrater:

markwateneymemorialcrater:

sharkangelic:

The Ring: If I had a quarter for every time a hobbit picked me up, I’d have two quarters. 
The Ring: Which isn’t a lot, but it’s weird that it happened twice.

Of all the bearers of Sauron’s ring, 4 of them were hobbits.

I was wrong. It’s 5. Not 4

The lineage of ring bearers is as follows.

1. Sauron.
2. Isildur
3. Deagol
4. Sméagol
5. Bilbo
6. Frodo
7. Samwise

I love how Deagol counts as a ring bearer even though he had it in his possession for all of like five seconds

He held it for the rest of of his life!

[Image description: Tweet by @banalplay saying “but something happened then that the ring did not intend. it was picked up by the most unlikely creature imaginable: a hobbit, the same fuckin thing that just had it for like 500 years.” End Image Description.] Link to original here. Otherwise reblogging for the final rb there, which made me cackle.

From the ring’s perspective:

1. Home, the finger of my creator and other self.

2. Well, I don’t like it but I can work with this. Cause some trouble, get some revenge, find my way home, this is fine.

3. What the fuck is you?

4. Right personality, wrong species, I don’t know what you are but I hate you and I don’t know why you’re so resistant to my powers.

5. NO NO NO there are goblins everywhere how did I find another one of THESE horrible things. This one’s even more resistant than the last one and also disgustingly nice. I suffer.

6. Listen, I’ll cooperate, just get me the fuck out of this hellhole full of small cheerful people my power doesn’t work on properly. No, not like that. I hate you. Please stop. 

7. FUCK

8. (Frodo again) I still hate you with every molecule of my mortal form but at least you’re not number seven. Think I’m starting to get through finally. 

9. (Smeagol again) YES it’s you I actually missed you now get me back to the Master and NO FUCK NO I HATE YOOOOUUUUU…. *fzt* 

you CHAIN The One Ring?! you chain it like the prisoner?! oh! OH! trauma! deep psychological trauma for hobbits for One Thousand Years!

crewdlydrawn-deactivated2022072:

frodo-baggins:

prayer circle guys prayer fucking circle

This redditor wins Internet Points:

daenerysbeauty:

people who say return of the king has too many endings are weak. personally, i think there should be at least ten more endings, with the very last one being legolas and gimli met on the shores of the undying lands by a party of elves, one of which takes one look at the dwarf and screams WHAT THE F— [hard cut to black]

russingon:

i know i always talk about this but. “don’t go where i can’t follow” is such a wild line. it’s literally 6 words and yet

oreliel-from-valinor:

Happy Hobbit day ♥

stinkylittlegnome:

stinkylittlegnome:

I love it in the fellowship of the ring book when they’re walking through the mines of moria, and tolkien’s like ”ever since frodo was stabbed by the wraith he had noticed that his vision was better, and he could hear little noises long before everyone else could…” as if it’s some kind of spooky wraith power. Like baby that’s just called hypervigilance, and it’s one of the biggest symptoms of ptsd😩😩😩 Im sorry to have to tell u this frodo, but u don’t have wraith powers, u need to go to therapy🙏 god bless