likeful:

HALLOWEEN II: DAWN OF THE EMOJIS

toddhoward:

k-k-strider:

toddhoward:

any video game ever: [has anybody in the cast that is Not human]
you fuicking hooligans: can i fuck tha,t

listen, we just so done with humanity. we tryin to move on, ok

out of all of the comments on this post, this one is the only one i come close to understanding and agreeing with

avagardner:

On the set of Creature from the Black Lagoon (1954). Photos by Edward Clark

scorpiogothgf:

ktt:

In the Garage by Cam Floyd

vamprisms:

hollywood: hey look at this big scary monster

y’all on this website:

filibusterfrog:

ohmygodthelesserknownmeme:

filibusterfrog:

if you want to live to die in a different battle then you have to stay clean

orcs are chads

they’ll steal your beautiful wife away through the power of cleanliness and rough charm

thatsprettysicknasty:

demon: youre a bitch

me: *starts closing the summoning circle*

demon: wait i gotta tell you some important ancient knowledge

me: *keeps it open*

demon: bitch

geekandmisandry:

battlecrazed-axe-mage:

insufficientlykinglike:

gothvegas:

ollies-outies:

siderealsandman:

abadmeanmess:

siderealsandman:

davefunkadelic:

siderealsandman:

the biggest lie, i think, the internet perpetuates about D&D is that a skinny little twink of a bard just needs to roll a nat 20 to seduce a dragon

like a dragon…a creature with more wealth and power than any other creature on the planet…a creature who is easily an 11/10 when they deign to take humanoid form…would look at your skinny little 8 STR half-elf Bard whose own father doesn’t even love them and go…yeah I’d like to fuck that

Counterpoint, my good man:

Dragons fuck

Dragons fuck, clearly, but not just any joe blow schmoe with a big Charisma stat. If I’m Joseph J Dragon sitting on a small hill of gold and jewels I’m not gonna waste my time boning every monsterfucking tiefling twink with a lyre. I would have standards.

Counter-counterpoint: dragons are SUPER horny

Counter-counter-counterpoint: even if dragons are SUPER horny they’ve got better prospects than spindly little bards!!!! They could be off fucking cloud giants or beholders or planetars!!!! They could be having sex with kraken in the middle of the ocean or fire giants in the mouth of an erupting volcano! 

There is a wealth of sexual excess and opportunity available to dragons; so much that they do not need to be slumming it with an adventurer who hasn’t washed his ass in a month and a half and is probably covered in kobold blood by the time they get to the dragon’s lair! 

Seriously!!! 

I don’t care how many times you cast Charm Monster, the Elder Dragon who has probably slept with more princesses than there are princedoms is not going to bite! When you have bedded the most beautiful mortals on the Prime Material Plane on a pile of gold and jewelry you are not gonna be looking twice at any MOTHERFUCKEr who can’t at least True Polymorph to make things interesting 

triple-counterpoint:

you’re right but please shut up you are actively ruining my 10 strength half-elf twink bard’s sexual prospects with this post

OP is right and they should say it

Actually… 

As we can see from this most excellent chart, dragons can and will fuck anything. Even humans do not compare. The only species that can match dragons for horny-ness is, in fact, nymphs. 

Therefore your twinky-ass lil bard has as good a chance as anyone. Go forth and thot your way through your DM’s carefully planned Big Bad encounter and 

fuck the dragon. 

I’m not even sure where I stand on this argument but I absolutely need to keep that chart for reference, so

Fuck the dragon

cephalotodd:

werewolves stink like wet dog and shed all over your furniture and are probably really really needy around a full moon and wake u up all the time with questions about morality but on the other hand vampires are like “øh hëllö thêrę vøuld yoü lïke to help me örganise mai evening vear closët for the third time this veëk :)” so really you cant win