How to be friends with me

• you: star wars?
• me: yes
• < _

• what she says: i'm fine
• what she means: so the boys come up to my apartment and i'm wearing a robe. i'm ONLY wearing a robe. and i say "why don't you come into my boudoir and watch me do a monologue?" and they say "where's the bed" and i say "this is the bed right here" and they say "can we sit on the bed?" and i say "sure but these are expensive japanese linen" and they say "but they're not even soft." and i say, "sometimes, things that are expensive...are worse."
• < _

i will never forgive jar jar armbands for killing pike